Our commitment to diversity

We are ashamed to admit that we currently have a staff of 5 whites, 2 Asians, and one possum. But, you can rest assured that ever since the George Floyd riots we have become a woke tech company. Now filled with guilt, we are committed to hire based on skin pigmentation, race, ethnicity, gender, LGBTQRSUV+/-, sexual and political orientation -- NOT merit! You could be the best writer, the best reporter, the best coder or the best customer service representative. These skills mean nothing to us! For example, if you're a straight white male with a stellar resume, just forget about it. Take your life of previlege elsewhere. If you're a Republican, regardless of your protected class, we will not hire you under any circumstances.